What is fondly remembered, understands hierglyphics, and has an affinity for white linen?

Rachel's mummy

Why didn't Jack want the hatch opened? - by Hanso_usurper

He wanted to separate Locke from key.

She had the feeling she was missing something...

So the TLE fan double checked to make sure she had all the newest clips on hansoexposed. She replayed her sequence, checked for updates at every website she could think of, dropped a line to Manny, and lurked over in the comments on TLEC.

What had she missed? Lunch

Two more from Belly0fdesire

What do you call thousands of nerds pressing F5 every 5 seconds on 6 different browser screens?

Us... the Lost Experience community


What would Arzt be doing if he were alive right now?

Probably trying to pull himself together

Ones with Rachel/Persephone from Belly0fdesire

Why wouldn't TiVO allow Rachel Blake to subscribe to their service?

She wanted to cut her recorded favorite shows up into 3 second fragments and hide them on her TiVo box to find later...


Why did they throw holy water on Persephone?

HELLO!?!?!?! Upside down speaking codes backwards?!?!! Need I say more?!? Is that pea soup leaking from my monitor?

Knock Knock - by Belly0fdesire

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Alvar.

Alvar who?

Alvar ya gunna go with these dumb jokes?

Ones with Joop from Belly0fdesire

What do you get when you cross Mittlewerk with Joop?

A really old German orangutan with a limp, and a strange fascination with Canadian islands...


What do you get when you cross that with Speaker?

A really old German orangutan with a limp and a strange fascination with Canadian islands who's IMPOSSIBLE to find in the dark.


Why does Joop hate his birthday?

If you had to get 105 spankings from a German mad-man and pass out from blowing out 105 candles, you'd hate your birthday too!

Ones about pirates from Belly0fdesire

What's a pirate's favorite thing to do while waiting for Season 3 of Lost? (Oct. 4, btw)

Playing the Lost AAAARRRGGGGGG.....


Who is a pirate's favorite Danish pioneer for the betterment of humanity?

Alvaaaaaaaaaaar

The one with the patient

The patient asked the Hanso doctor, "Doctor, will I ever be able to play music again?" The doctor replied, "I don't see how. You'll be missing an organ."

What did one clip in storage say to another?

I go near the beginning but you're closer to the Enzo.

Knock Knock - by Colduphere

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Alvar Hanso.

Alvar Hanso who?

Exactly.

Why did Thomas Werner Mittlework cross the road?

1. I'd love to tell you but instead I've decided to hide the answer all over the Internet one letter at a time.

2. To find his missing ponytail. - Colduphere

3. He was bored...waiting for the next glyph to be released. - Colduphere

4. Since TWM does not really exist it was only an illusion that he crossed the road. This illusion was only in my mind. Therefore I created TWM..and that crossed the road. - Colduphere

5. He thought he recognized a pizza delivery girl.

How many Dharma scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. None, on the Island, Dharma Lightbulbs constantly heal themsleves. - Howard at TLEC

2. Just one, but he has to change it every 108 minutes. - Howard at TLEC

3. **Season 2 Spoiler - 8 scientists

Two to take shifts since it goes out every 108 minutes.
Two to watch and take notes on the first two.
Two more to watch and take notes on the two taking notes.
And two more because 6 is not one of the Numbers. - End Spoiler**

4. None--they have kidnapped losties to do menial jobs like this! - BoulderLovinCat
Or abandoned scientists?

But I kept going

Thomas Werner Mittlwork was sitting in a bar when the guy next to him started to close out his tab. Suddenly TVM throws his drink at the man, strikes a match, and is about to light his barmate on fire when the bartender catches his arm. "What do you think you're doing!?" TVM shakes his head as if realizing where he is and replies, "Sorry, I thought I heard math."

The end?

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Glyph

Glyph who?

Glyph-en we don't find one soon, I'll have to come up with more jokes.

The one that flopped

This one flopped when I told it on TLEC.

------
Knock, knock

Who's there?

Thomas

Thomas who?

Help! Thomas problems with my fragments.
------

(As in "too" + "mas," too many.)

I told you these were bad. So how's this one?

-----
Knock, knock

Who's there?

Hal.

Hal who?

Halp! Hansoexposed keeps messing with my fragments!

Where it all started

So I'm reading comments on TLEC and many are complaining about bored with the pace of the game right now and how buggy hansoexposed is. Then at dinner my 4 year old DS and I started in on Knock, Knock jokes. Somewhere my wires got crossed and out came....

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Hanso.

Hanso who?

Hanso tired of waiting for clues.